"Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so."
So the Bible says that Jesus rose from the dead. So what? What does that prove? The four gospel writers can't even agree on their accounts of the resurrection. They blatently contradict each other, don't they? Well, let's see ...
Joseph's Tomb
- Matthew says that Joseph of Arimathea took Jesus' body, with Pilate's permission and placed it in his own new tomb. This was witnessed by some women. [27:57-61]
- Mark says that Joseph of Arimathea took Jesus' body, with Pilate's permission and placed it in his own new tomb. This was witnessed by some women. [15:42-47]
- Luke says that Joseph of Arimathea took Jesus' body, with Pilate's permission and placed it in his own new tomb. This was witnessed by some women. [23:50-55]
- John says that Joseph of Arimathea took Jesus' body, with Pilate's permission and placed it in his own new tomb. [19:38-42]
Temple Guard
- Matthew says that a temple guard was posted at the tomb to stop the disciples stealing Jesus' body. [27:62-66]
- Mark, Luke and John remain suspiciously silent on the matter of a guard.
Night Visitors
- John says that Mary Magdalene went to the tomb while it was still dark. [20:1]
- Matthew says that Mary and Mary went to the tomb at dawn. [28:1]
- Mark says that Mary and Mary went to the tomb just after dawn. [16:1-3]
- Luke says Mary, Mary, Joanna and some other women went to the tomb very early in the morning. [24:1]
Who Moved the Stone?
- Matthew says that an earthquake move the stone and the guards fainted. [28:2-4]
- Mark says that the stone had been rolled away. [6:4]
- Luke says that the stone had been rolled away. [24:2-3]
- John says that the stone had been removed. [20:1]
He is not Here
- John says there were two angels in the tomb. [20:10-13]
- Matthew says there was one angel who said Jesus was not in the tomb, he had risen and told the disciples to go to Galilee. [28:5-7]
- Mark says there was one young man who said Jesus was not in the tomb, he had risen and told the disciples to go to Galilee. [16:5-8]
- Luke says there were two young men who said Jesus was not in the tomb, he had risen and told the disciples to go to Galilee. [24:4-8]
Tomb Racers
- Luke says Peter ran to the tomb and saw that it was empty. [24:12]
- John says Peter and John ran to the tomb and saw that it was empty. [20:3-9]
Magdala
- Mark says Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene. [16:9]
- John says Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene. [20:14-18]
- Matthew says Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene and the other Mary. [28:8-10]
Conspiracy Theory
- Matthew says the chief priests instructed the guards to say the disciples stole Jesus' body. [28:11-15]
Not exactly riddled with contradictions, is it? Well, at least we can rule out any accusations of collusion! To be fair, there are some ommissions. How confident can we be about
the story of the guards posted outside the tomb? After all, only Matthew mentions it. Did the others not know? Did they
not believe it to be an important detail? Who knows? Still, to be on the safe side, let's say we will only accept those
parts which all four evangelists agree on.
